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The child Workplace: The Fullerton Hotel Birthday: 30th September About you: I love how my life have been going and definitely there's more awesome things planned to come previous posts What do I really want? It's been almost a year since i've blogged about h... His 4 handprints in my Life today.. Only He can.. WHATS NEW?!?! Tiring 2 weeks Falling in love again. Where's my freedom? What a news?!?!! past December 2005 November 2006 January 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 July 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 February 2008 May 2008 June 2008 August 2008 September 2008 November 2008 December 2008 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 April 2010 September 2010 April 2011 Great Clicks
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Monday, April 25, 2011 ( Thanks for picking me up.. @ 11:57 pm ) Today was supposed to be a good day, but there was a minor squabble with my boyfriend and a bad discussion session with mum. Whatever it is, it will not end that way because I'm going to end it with you. Daddy, like a child I pray that my heart grows deeper for you. As I was listening to the sermon "How believers fall from grace- dated 17 April 2011, New Creation Church" I felt such relief hearing that I fell. At least I knew the cause of why I became a totally different person. My mind repeatedly reminded itself that how can I be a christian when I can't even act right. I'm not righteous enough. I know what is grace and I know that I'm forgiven but I can't feel it within me. It is just a "knowing" and not from within. After listening to the CD, I felt a totally new person. I will start off by the smallest (of which I thought it'll never work) which is to pray for your grace and wisdom for the present day. Though I can't see anything happening yet, I know something else is brewing. Somewhere, somehow it's prepared for me. I trust you totally for that. If there's something bad that I don't want to do, I'll not say "I will Never do it" <-- There's no power in it as I will end up doing it. Instead, I'll say, In Jesus name.. (now that's the POWER) I'll never do it. I won't use MY effort to try getting love, especially from my parents and brother. I've been doing that and it's making me very tired. I always try my best to be someone better, but they are like walking time-bomb that will get angry over trivial reason and starts splashing all sorts of remarks without thinking that it hurts alot in me. They didn't realise that the fact that I became so rude to them was because of their words used at me. It is because my heart hurt so much that I want them to feel the same (though it wasn't intentional, but they always assume it is a planned one). Why does she always think she's right? I don't understand the power she is having to let her feel that she's always right. Can't parents be wrong? Nevertheless, what I want to tell you is that, I want to be filled with sooo much of your love that all the effort that comes out from me will be the effort to love somebody without expecting anything back. The overflowing love that I want to share with everyone in my life. The effort given will be OUT OF LOVE and not FOR LOVE. Thank you for listening to me. At least I'm jotting it down, because I want to remember what I asked for. I want to give thanks to you even before the results are out. Amen ! 0 comments Thursday, September 16, 2010 ( What do I really want? @ 12:31 pm ) I was looking into facebook and I see all the birthday cake for the 21st birthday kiddos. Initially, I wasn't thinking much to celebrate mine, but be because it's MY 21st. It is the year where freedom steps in and the year where the kiddos will feel that we can conquer the world. But, just one week more and I'm still doing nuts. Well , I guess I won't be doing anything at all! Why? Cause I can't find the right reason to. I can't see much support. I just think it's my wishful thinking to enjoy this year of mine. I trust that whatever happens in the end, no matter what the final decision is, it will definitely be good as Jesus is with me all this while. He makes one feel better, multiply the intangible lost we feel. I won't blame anyone of course, i will tell myself " I will not regret not having celebrations for myself " even if u did regret, it's too late already aye! 0 comments Monday, April 26, 2010 ( @ 3:49 am ) I'm glad to say that i'm moving off pretty well. Worked in various departments from the hotel and picked up awesome skills that could be shared in another. Understood that all that i've been doing wouldn't have went on smoothly without Jesus. However, I felt rather laid back now. Have not been listening to sermons, songs. It's true that without it, i feel lost. Yet i'm not doing anything to get it back. I guess this is what Pastor always don't want us to see it as, condemning ourselves cause we're not doing anything for the Lord. I know, that I need not do ANYTHING at all. But my mind always prompt me to "must do something at least".. o Man! Ok.. While typing all the above, suddenly had the prompting to do this (someone's telling it to me in my mind)... Declaring.. I am the RIGHTEOUSNESS of Jesus Christ. Your Grace and Favour is for me, the undeserved and unmerited one. All that i felt i don't deserve, ALL for the better because that's where You will manifest the most! Through my weakest, there You are my strongest. Though I don't speak to You about everything or everyday, You still showered me with SO MUCH favours. And Jesus, though i've sinned much, i'm FORGIVEN much too. I prayed with my simplest of prayers (thru speaking) that in the powerful name of Jesus, I will be one who will stand up being the strongest as you have promised that I will be the Head and not the Tail, the Top and not beneath. AMEN!! 0 comments Tuesday, May 26, 2009 ( His 4 handprints in my Life today.. @ 4:54 pm ) His FIRST Hand print in my life today Firstly, I was rushing my last minute Food Production Management project from last night till about 5.45am in the morning. Class was supposed to start at 8.30 but.. i slept thru till 11.30.. When i woke up, STRAIGHT AWAY my mind was.. SHIT! My Convention & Exhibition (C&E)Test.. it's supposed to be NOW!!! She already cancelled the test since last friday (because some of us have interviews, which includes ME!!) And i can't rush to school (no $ for cab, haven't shower, haven't done collating my Foods report) My mind was in a whirlwind.. It flew EVERYWHERE.. i can't focus.. Sigh, so i told myself.. Since i'll surely get a Zero already.. might as well stay home and finish up my Foods project.. But after awhile.. 11.45am-supposed to be C&E test time.. my mates text me and said.. Sarah! Teacher cancelled the test, postponed to tomorrow 27 may 2009.. In my heart i was screaming.. AWESOME!! PRAISE JESUS!! WHO ELSE COULD HAVE DONE THAT.. AMEN AMEN! His SECOND handprints in my Life today.. As mentioned earlier, I woke up late today.. I was doing my project till about 4.30, got to shower then leave to print the report. i was rushing to shower.. change to go out.. then my friends called me to tell me.. the project can be handed in tomorrow first thing in the morning.. AWESOME! AWESOME! I can still touched it up properly..AMEN! His THIRD handprints in my Life today! Tomorrow was supposed to be my mock-interview with my trainer.. but there's mid-week service tomorrow.. i'm thinking.. "wah.. must wear formal.. then need to bring extra clothes to change for choir.." Sigh.. BUT.. My mock-interview was postponed to Thurs.. WHEE~~AWESOME! Tell me.. who else can it be?? MID-WEEK.. Here I COME!! with arms high and heart abandoned.. His FOURTH handprints in my Life today I thought i didn't have enough time to go look for decorations for my event day( this sunday, 31st may 09).. BUT because.. tomorrow.. since i have no mock-interview.. I have the time FROM 11.30am all the way till 6pm to go look for Decorations..which could have made me leave at about 2-3 plus? Yeah!!! AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME lah!!!! Simply toooo good already.. THANK YOU JESUS.. Muacks!!! I love you leh, abba daddy.. 0 comments Thursday, May 14, 2009 ( Only He can.. @ 11:50 pm ) Why can't I see that my family does play the most important role in my life (other than Jesus)? It struck me again. On the 13th May, Mummy and I quarrelled. It was so bad, her gastric hit her (she told me after that). Normally, we wouldn't be talking for about 2-3 days.. The same day i got a call from Fullerton Hotel for interview. Then i realised, i have no proper formal shirt, pants, HEELs... When i came home on 14th May, I spoke to mummy abit (random chat, like where's papa now.. i need him to buy me some cheap black heels for interview).. then it lead to her saying to bring me downstair to get my heels. SHE INITIATED IT.. (wow, it was so amazing.. for her character, she seldom say this to me..ESPECIALLY WORSE when i've just made her angry last night) Seeing that neighbourhood area don't have the shoes i wanted.. She said go causeway point.. WOW! wearing till so lepak.. but still, we went. Sigh.. Amazing mom.. I thought she didn't bother that i have interview.. but to think, she's more anxious than me.. sigh... [[.. I'm sorry lah mummy.. ]] She bought me a very nice blazer like jacket.. sighh... simply awesome... This seriously, only requires His Grace man.. nothing else.. Only He, can mend the broken hearted, broken relationship.. 0 comments Wednesday, May 13, 2009 ( WHATS NEW?!?! @ 1:02 am ) Yea!! OR RATHER, NOT NEW.. I'M AN INGRATE! BASTARD! BITCH! IDIOT! (quoted from a understanding mouth) now thats what's not new... So what now? FUCK! I feel so accused.. I "love" the atmosphere at home man, always against me. C'mon, can't you feel how cool it is? Yea.. Honestly, you guys can say whatever you like.. I won't Budge..just cause i don't do housework when you ask me to? can't stay home a little more like my bro? Like staying out, hanging with friends.. going out like how normal young adult can.. I'm seriously thinking of moving out man. There's more PRO's than CON's PRO's:
CON's:
So..looks like, we have more Pro's than Con's..so.. what should we do with it? Execute it? OH yea man! How cool is that.. tell me ..tell me.. Sigh.... Quoted above "I'M AN INGRATE! BASTARD! BITCH! IDIOT!" <----------I BIND IT His name.. BIND BIND BIND BIND BIND.. Cause i know i'm the beloved and the precious Labels: Whats new? 0 comments Sunday, April 19, 2009 ( Tiring 2 weeks @ 10:07 pm ) Phew (perspire). This two weeks of school have been "QUITE" tiring. I don't even have the time to rest, having late nights, planning, being so disorganized. Gosh! Such a huge project for me because it's my first time handling a relatively high status with major responsibilities. I believe strongly that the Lord have something Great coming up installed for me! He's preparing me for something AWESOME! Have to start on my resume like real soon too. Gotta show my trainer some draft to see if the format and writing are right.. and all lah.. oh well... 0 comments |